so there, another leap. a faithless one. i am laughing here. not the kind that makes the belly hurt. just a slow laugh, a whispered ha-ha. nah, it doesn’t even reach the ears. just a mild self-fascination. oh, i am crazy alright. and yes, the sane kind of crazy.
the tempting thing about the unknown is the sweetness of not having to think of what lies ahead. just now. "knowing there is only now" (cynthia alexander). and however the mountains of regrets come crashing the days after, you would know, nothing would ever compare to that moment when you just let it go, and your weakness gave way to something else . . . some courage that defied everything you’ve ever feared.
of course, always, i would go back to that hammock. a family of three, wearing cool shades. the shadows from the coconuts upon our faces. and the littlest one on his stomach, or on his back (see, he moves a lot in his sleep), lying between us. half yours, half mine.
i’ve done worse than you, but never better.ü
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