i’m liking my newfound nondepth. no more nosebleeds. just living moment for moment, thoughtless. for one, i can now sleep fifteen hours without my head hurting afterward. i’m learning to feel useless. insignificant. anonymous. no more megalomanias. paranoias. nah, believe me, it’s not less fun; it’s not boring. it’s easy on the mind, light on the heart. like cute boys.ü
everything can be induced. no more nice lines from boyband songs. like "sadness is beautiful." nor romantic oneliners from the likes of neyo and 50 cents. yes, i don’t know what i’m talking about here.
one day, i can eat three full square meals, the next i can have barely a bite to eat. my structure is my spontaneity. a conversation in bantayan returns to me. scorpions. if they don’t eat, they’ll just begin to shrink until they’ve metabolized themselves to death. nice, huh?
my home will have a big bed in it. i’m most solitary asleep.
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